hey

Life can be stupid. The worse thing is that you are always forced to take decisions, whether u like it or not.As they say, life is shot at us point blank. You are "supposed" to learn it, without knowing whats the whole game about.But yes, you play it...just to survive or make sense of it.

And yeah the best thing about it is that you feel you have learnt it ( to add to it, there are others who seem to be living your life and who tell you what to do ), but well all the bad experiences are supposed to be interpreted as lessons or troughs.

a new start probably

I believe you miss things, if you have expectations.Maybe that has hindered a lot of what you see (because you wanted to see), think (same applies here) and everything else you do.But when you take the plunge and just stay below the surface, at least trying to see, then things sort of clear out by themselves.Yes, it's easier said than done, but it helps.